MOTHER’S DAY IDEAS FOR ELDERLY MOMS
As your mom ages, traditional Mother’s Day gifts such as flowers, jewelry, perfume and chocolates, may no longer be appropriate due to health concerns or physical limitations. Rather than giving items or knick-knacks that she does not need nor has the space for, you can express your love and appreciation for your mother in a variety of other ways.
Of course, most mothers would like to spend more time with their adult children and grandchildren but you can also make the most of this holiday by doing something for your mother that she is no longer physically or financially able to do for herself.
Go for a drive. Take your mother out for a drive through her old neighborhoods or to other locations that hold memories for her. If she is no longer living near the areas where she grew up or raised your family, then bring her out for a scenic drive to nearby park, nature preserve or historic landmark.
Create a memory book. Sort through old scrap books, family albums, loose photos, artwork and recipes with your mother and your children. If you have children and they are old enough, ask them to help you copy or scan the most treasured memorabilia, taking special note to include any items that prompted fond memories for your mother, to a create a personalized memory book. Children of any age could help decorate the keepsake and even add a few pages of their own poems, art work or photos especially for their grandmother.
Produce an original Mother’s Day card or video. As we age, we often lose contact with friends and family, especially if the time has come for your mother to move into an assisted living facility or senior residence. If you are still in touch with or are able to track down some of your mother’s friends, ask them to write a message or share a special memory of your mom and turn them into a scrapbook or homemade card. If you have the time, the equipment and the skill, you could also create a video card or vignette, by compiling a variety of photos from your mother’s life and incorporating interviews of her family and friends sharing their stories about your mother.
Make a personalized “mixed tape.” Music is the soundtrack of our lives, frequently lifting our moods, soothing our emotions or sparking cherished memories. These days you don’t need to spend a lot of money to create a mixed tape and thanks to current technology, you can easily create a playlist of your mother’s favorite songs. If your mom is not tech-savvy and doesn’t own a mp3 player, burn a CD of her personalized playlist to create a modern “mixed tape.” If necessary, purchase a small CD player from a second-hand store or online outlet to make it easier for your mother or her caregivers to play.
Find memory triggers. Many elderly adults have some form of dementia or Alzheimer’s disease, making it difficult for them to recognize their own family members. It can be an emotional challenge to spend time with someone who is unable to recall their own history, especially when that person is your parent or grandparent. Fortunately, here are some things you can do and some gifts you can give that may help stimulate memories and provide comfort to your elderly mother, especially if she has Alzheimer’s or dementia. Have a friend or a professional photographer take a family portrait, frame it and hang it in your mother’s room because visual cues can be very helpful, not only for your mother but also for her caregivers, as it is a reminder of the people and places that are most important to her. Scents can also be a strong memory trigger and the smell of certain flowers, baked goods or essential oils can be used as stimulants.
Put together a gift basket. While you can certainly purchase or send a ready-made gift basket, it does not need to be expensive or difficult to create a customized gift basket for your mother. To identify a theme for your gift basket, start by thinking about things your mom likes to do as well as favorite items she may need or would like to try. If she likes to read but her eyesight is not as good as it once was, put together a gift basket with large-print books by her favorite authors and consider adding a magnifying glass, a book light or some pretty bookmarks. Some other gift basket themes include an assortment of non-perishable food and snacks, an array of beauty products, a variety of small gardening tools and seeds or exotic coffees or teas. The key to a good gift basket is sending something that will be useful but not take up a lot of space. While inexpensive baskets can be found in clearance sections in retails stores, you could also pick one up at a garage sale or second-hand shop but just because it is called “gift basket,” you are not required to actually use a basket. Gift items can be placed in almost any decorative, practical or theme-related container, such as colanders or large bowls for food items or an attractive pot for gardening tools.
Don’t wait until Mother’s Day to spend time with your mother. Although your schedule may be busy with work and children, it could deepen your relationship as well as improve her quality of life if you make the time to visit or call your mom on a regular basis.
If the time has come when you or a family member is no longer able to live independently, contact CalRegistry to learn about assisted living services and facilities within California.